I think today was the nicest day here so far. I slept until 11am only realizing that I was gonna be late from the free tourist walk around Brisbane CBD, but instead of hurrying, I took a time for myself. Once again. I don't want to rush, if I don't have to. So I took a shower, wrote a little story, ate some breakfast and enjoyed my time here. Then I took the usual route to city center, this time I actually went to South bank first, then to Botanic gardens and shopping again.
I took the City Cat, sat on the back of the ferry. Smiling, when the wind played with my hair. Ipod was playing my favorite music. I felt really happy to be here.
At the South Bank, I just sat down and started writing. Everytime I travel, I have a piece of paper with me. I need to have something into which I can write my thoughts. I always had a dream of this little black colored book and few days before departure, I finally found the perfect diary. It was just what I've been looking for for so many times. To those pages inside the leather case, I pour my heart. No one has ever red my personal journal, and probably they would be amazed what goes in my head.
I remember this one time in Vienna, Austria, where I spent weeks with my dear friend. It was a lovely not-yet-autumn-day when I took my diary and went to see my favorite painting. Earlier that week I had went to the wrong museum looking for that specific painting and luckily one of the guides told me I'd find it in Belvedere. (Which is by the way, the most loveliest museums I have ever visited.) So I was very excited, full of adrenaline and pen ready to write what ever the painting brought to my mind. I went upstairs, took a glance of the other paintings when I finally came to the room where it stood. I had finally came to see The Kiss, by Kustav Klimt.
Many of you may know this painting from posters, postcards and all kinds of souvenirs, including t-shirts, cups. etc. I knew it from a postcard, that my dearest friend, at a time being, had sent me from Italy. I was there, in that big room, sitting on bench just watching it. I wrote more then three hours, I spoke to the people around me, asking what the painting symbolized in their opinion. One dear old lady explained to me the idea behind the painting, about the colours on the background, why the land suddenly ends and how the couple intertwined into one being, symbolising the strength of this bond. I loved my time there, just watching the magnificent piece of art, the people looking it, further away then walking few steps forward to see it more closely. I had a relationship with that painting for those hours that I sat there. Then I walked away, never wanting to see that painting again. I have written so much about it, but reading the journal afterwards, not remembering the feelings of sadness, it's just something I don't want to get into anymore. It was a memorable day for me, I shall never forget it.
So coming back today's adventures. While sitting in that bench, near the riverside, I felt really calm. I heard lyrics which went like this:
Do you know where your heart is?
Do you think you can find it?
Or did you trade it for something
Somewhere better just to have it?
Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong, but
Nothing's turned out how you wanted
I am a lonely soul, not many people actually get me. Even though I let people in very easily, they don't have the slightest idea how much they change my life, my view of the world or my way of thinking, for just being themselves. And how much I value them, but also how much it's breaks my heart to let them go. I love and feel very strongly, and I don't want to mess with people's feelings. Especially my own. I take my relationships, whether it's between my friends and family, or with someone else, very seriously. But this past year has also taught me a lot. I have a friend who lost the dearest friend in her life. After that talk that we shared, I decided that from this day forward, as long as I have my lovedones around me, I want them to know how truly, madly and deeply I care for them. And because of this, I want to be straight forward, tell people how much I care, or if something bothers me, I let it all out. Good and bad. But of course I know how to be straight in a non-hurting-way, because that's the least what I want. I also wait for that kind of behavior from other people, straight and honest.
Why let things unsaid, when you have been given a voice to talk. You can talk, write, sing, what ever comes naturally.
I use strong words, but sometimes words are overrated. So instead I listen. Now my mind says: go to sleep my dear. So Goodnight everyone, storytelling continues tomorrow <3
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